Today is the Day I'll Fall Asleep at the Wheel.

Kathy told me at some point during my sleep cycle that I am restless in bed. Maybe I need that sleep number bed. Like I have any money at all, you know? Thanks in part to my sad growing obsession with realty TV (much like everything else in my life, I'm always 2 years late joining the band wagon) lead to weird crossover dreams. Poison's CeCe Deville and I sat in a hotel banquet hall while our best friend turned into a spider. Does that mean I'm gay?

I swear I'll have to become a coffee drinker or something to stay wider awake during the day. I'll take a grande mocha latte half caf no foam with a side of nutmeg and chocolate shavings. Then I want some pam-cakes.

If I could be a super hero, I would be 'Wonder Jew'. Fighting crime, stopping tax evasion, saving money. All hale Jewcano.